Family Issues.

Let’s talk family issues.

Please be aware, I do not intend this to sound like ‘poor me, life is so unfair’. I intend this post to show some of the goings on in a bad family, and what results from what amounts to adult sibling rivalry.


My sister (who we’ll call K) says I don’t clean or do any work in this house. Granted, I don’t cook dinner very often anymore (she kept complaining about how much she hates my cooking, and would refuse to serve it to her kids most times), and I could clean up after myself more often, but from the messes I see through the house, and from the things I’ve had to clean myself, I probably clean twice, if not three times as often as she does.


Let’s take it back to a few months after she moved in. We had a house rule that if you cook, you clean up before the next meal is cooked. K didn’t like that. She would neglect to¬† clean the kitchen 9 times out of 10. One day she threw a very loud fit, demanding that I clean up the kitchen as soon as everyone was done eating dinner from then on, “No more of this leaving it until the next day bullshit” (that was a direct quote from her rant). Mom then made me clean up the kitchen as soon as dinner was over from then on, if I cooked.


Meanwhile, K still refused to clean up after herself most of the time. I pointed this out to our mom, and she said it was because “she feels like she shouldn’t have to clean if she cooks”, and that was meant to be the end of that. 9 months later, I was told I wasn’t allowed to cook dinner anymore because K hated it, and K also stopped doing the dishes. I think in the 3 months that followed, she cleaned most of the dirty dishes in the kitchen a total of 5 times. Even now, she refuses to make sure the whole kitchen is clean, and will usually only do whatever she needs to feed her kids. What really bugs me about that is that if I so much as left a counter top un-scrubbed, I would be yelled at but they say NOTHING to K.


Just the other day K demanded I clean up the bathroom every day. Sure, I could tidy up the bathroom once in a while, but no one seems to listen or care that it’s her trash overflowing the can that she refuses to empty. It’s her kids’ clothing covering the floor and shower (soiled clothing in the shower, making it unusable by adults). It’s their toothpaste, and her hair dye covering the sink. Will I take out standard trash, sweep up, clean the mirror, and do other standard cleaning in there? Sure. Will I clean up their soiled clothing, or wipe out their toothpaste-spit? No. I’m not their mother. I’m not their maid.


As I mentioned before, she, her kids, and her dog makes a mess out of the living room with trash, tissues, clothing, and everything else. Can you guess who she expects to clean it up?


I honestly don’t know what to do. Any time I try to point out K’s bad behavior, nothing happens. When I try to come up with a compromise, they tell me I need to do it all myself, or else they just don’t enforce anything with K. My feelings and wishes are ignored on a daily basis, while they cater to K’s every whim. I’m treated like a bratty toddler while they let her believe she owns this house and everyone and everything in it. Nothing I say does any good. In fact it usually makes it worse for me.


Do my parents hate me? Maybe. Do they just love their first born daughter more, no matter what she says or how she acts? Looks like it. Either way, I spend half of every day saying variations of ‘wft?!’ and ‘seriously?’. It’s like everyone here thinks I should be the happy slave, doing as I’m told whenever and wherever I’m told to do it, and that I’m mean and childish for saying anything about it.

2 Comments to “Family Issues.”

  1. Dianne says:

    It sounds like my sister’s life with her daughter. Her daughter is bipolar and has a wicked temper. My sister is afraid of her and her temper. I wonder if your mom just can’t deal with K and it is easier to ignore it. I feel your pain.

    1. I think that’s it, because any time someone disagrees with K, or tries to tell her to calm down, or let them speak, she screams and cusses even more.

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